Frigid: Prologue

“Bundle up.”

 

That’s what he said to me.

 

I don’t know exactly what made me so fed up at that time, but I was. The discourse in my life, it had reached a level that was totally unbearable to me at the time. The shouting, the arguing, the fighting, crying, panicking. Logic eluded me at that time. All I wanted was an escape, and a solution. And I thought I knew how to get those.

 

I knew it was stupid, I knew that. Bt what else was a kid to do, being the victim of a narcissistic abuser like that, with no other options? CPS didn’t do anything. Cops didn’t do anything. Family didn’t do anything; they didn’t even believe me. And all the while I was fucking suffering every second. You haven’t felt it. A house with the floor made of eggshells upon which I tread softly but still reap the hatred. I felt the cracking every day, especially of the recent days. And what do you do when there’s a house floored with touchy materials? You leave.

 

My two accomplices were helping me. My friend and her friend, both of which I met online. Yanno, it’s a pretty damn shame when two people you’ve never met in person are designated to save you from one person whose been with you for 16 out of 16 years. The blood was really thin.

 

Earlier, a fracas ensued. Such had been waiting to happen since the hellish chain of events late the passing summer. It was now November and this conflict had come to a head. It was the beginning of the end of my depressive phase and yet, I saw this as my only obstacle. But my family, they were a real obstacle. They were an immovable object, and I was a completely and utterly stoppable force. I had to break through. And I had a plan.

 

The first friend, Alys, was who I considered to be my best friend. We’d met online a few years prior and had kept in touch on and off ever since. The other friend, Yanni, was someone I met only about a month prior, and he was the “boyfriend” of Alys (don’t ask why I put that in quotes. Alys told Yanni everything, and he was very willing to help me. He lived far away, but he had room in his house. I could lodge with him until things got better, I just had to be able to get there. After the argument–I can’t even remember what triggered it– I called Yanni. He and I both agreed that it was time for me to bounce. We spent about 10 minutes planning the logistics of it. I would leave, walk out the back door in the dead of night and arrive at the hospital. They would see my desperation, and there would be no way they’d have the heart to send me back to that house.

 

I only saw 1 problem: the bitter cold. It was around freezing those upcoming days, and I knew that the cold would bite my skin, almost as hard as I liked to bite myself in anger. So I brought that up to him. I said to him “it’s gonna be cold out. What should I do to at least prevent hypothermia or something?”

 

He just told me “Bundle up”.

 

And I fucking listened.

Hate and Love: Creative writing poems

Hello all! I’m eager to share with you these two poems of mine that I wrote. I first published these on my old unused blog about 2 years ago, but I felt like it’d be nice to post it here too. 

I especially like them because of how they were written. They go along with each other well, really. The first one is what’s known as a lipogram, where none of the words have one specific letter. For that, I chose to omit the letter ‘L’. Then there’s a reverse lipogram, where every word has to contain a specific letter. I chose to include the letter ‘L’ in every word. So in a way, they’re both opposites while also being linked together. 

I plan to do more work like this in the future, having to use specific rhyme schemes and word patterns. I hope you enjoy these twin poems, though! 

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Hate

Human nature requires it

But human prosperity detests it.

How are we such hypocrites

We manage to perpetuate something

Then go around and preach of us being the ones to deter it?

It’s just negative passion

But passion yet the same

Have it, don’t be it

Don’t ignore it, just see it.

Love

Ailment? Accolade?

Alas; all simply loose, loose melodies plus woeful flower petals plucked slowly, carefully, hopefully

Possibly futile, still always relentless

Joyful, still melancholy

Temperamental, still jovial

Actually, only negligible

A major milestone has been reached

Hello all, just a short post to tell you about an exciting big step in my writing career. Last afternoon (2/27/17), there was a pleasant surprise as my brother Travis informed me that a package arrived for me. I opened it and discovered that it turned out to be my first ever shipment of my book, The Month Of June!

It’s a surprise since I expected it to arrive on March 7th, as the website projected. But now that they’re here I can get to selling them sooner, and be able to get more money to then put into buying more books.

This really is a milestone for me. This started out as just a story I worked on in my notebook on my free time. And to finally see it materialized in front of me like this is amazing, and shows just how far I’ve come.

You can grab your own copy of The Month of June, too. All of the information about it is right here, with links to different purchasing options at the bottom.